Serious birders all around the UK were tonight expressing their delight that satirical birding website Reservoir Cats appeared to have retracted its claws for the final time, signalling its demise with the announcement that all of the past year’s irreverent, abusive and bafflingly vitriolic news items were now available in the form of a recently published book.Tom Logan, a serious birder from Stockport said “Thank fuck for that. I’d had enough of it some months ago. At first I thought it was fairly amusing, and I naturally assumed that it was taking the piss out of other birders, but not me. After all, I’m normal and not at all nerdish and antisocial. Then my wife took to reading it, cackling hysterically and pointing at me while she shrieked through hiccuping tears of laughter ‘that’s you, that is!’… and suddenly it didn’t seem quite so funny after all.”Dr Julian Kirrin, an edgy and knowingly cool twenty-something birder from Norwich agreed, drawling “No, I’m not at all sorry to see it sack off. It was only occasionally monster, and mostly it failed to skor. Unlike me and my chums. We skor stochastically.”Reactions have not been entirely one-sided however, and there is some sympathy for the soon to be homeless Reservoir Cats. Tom Mackenzie, owner of the Twinkling Paddypaws Wildlife Sanctuary in Derbyshire said “The poor creatures will always be welcome here. We’ll have them neutered and treated for fleas, and I’m sure we’ll be able to find them new, loving homes in the course of time.“Or at least once they’ve finally been house-trained – at the moment I hear they’re just shitting and spraying wherever they choose.”Mr White, spokesman for Reservoir Cats, was unavailable for comment this evening. As usual.
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